You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
