you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
