my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
