No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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