so explain again why im purple
no
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
