I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
