Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
