get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
