Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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