she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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