when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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