Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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