yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
