Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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