Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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(406): View more from Montana

Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo

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(317): View more from Indiana

Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?

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