How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i will never coherently bang her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
