I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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