At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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