Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
