Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
