i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I could make wine with my vomit
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
