So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
