this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
