I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
