Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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