how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
