forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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