Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
