you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
