Sry I called you an 8
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
