I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
