Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
