I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
