Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
