So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
