4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
