We won't sleep together?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize