We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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