I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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