Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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