i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
