yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
