Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
