Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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