thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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