i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
