Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
