Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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