How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
