I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
