I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
