So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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