I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
