Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize