to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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