Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
