i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
