i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
