she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
worst night to have a conscience
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
