do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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