you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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