they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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